stills from my short experimental film for Pink Noise vi
For Pink Noise vi the theme was “Fantasy Embodiment”. I wanted to explore unconditional love, and why it often feels difficult to experience, through a daydream where it is embodied and understood freely. Energetically and symbolically trying to tune into unconditional love while gazing into the empty eye of the camera was more difficult than I imagined it would be. I definitely came up against my own edges and guardedness while creating this piece.
Contemplating my own blocks and resistance, took me deeper into the idea of where, when, and how unconditional love is felt and expressed. Which made me recognize that perhaps our boundaries are supporting us just as vibrantly as the overt moments when love flowing. Because when we are willing to reckon with why we are not feeling loved externally, it forces us to look inward instead. By looking inward we recognize the innate interconnected truth of being that underlies all of our collective conscious experience.
Love from this perspective ignites a different kind of power.
The power of a self attuned sense of love and validation allows us to confidently look back outward into the world and recognize where basic kindness, understanding, and compassion is being blocked for us all.
How can we dismantle this and further reclaim our relationship to life, ourselves, and one another?
I believe we can look toward ancient traditions for clues, while being wise to not overly romanticize the past through a simultaneous respect for the fruits of contemporary life.
Connecting with ancestral healing has been a focus of my practices for quite some time. I recently completed a workshop series with Dr. Daniel Foor through his online school Ancestral Medicine to further explore the animist and interrelation approach to being. For so many reasons from social justice, to climate change, and responsible tech - I believe focusing on ancestral lineage healing and activating a more animist perspective on being is an incredibly beneficial endeavor for all to consider. But digging into this more intimately, was also a reminder of how strong the dominant materialist "human as ecological center of the universe" narrative continues to overlord reality. And we all know, more than ever - how destructive this is in so many ways.
So how do we hold tender our ancient cells and hearts carrying such complicated histories in a time of lightening fast exchange of ideas, truth, lies, connection, and disconnection?
I am not certain. But, I suspect the answer lies somewhere in taking a more empowered approach to our relationship to technology and the ways in which we interact with it.
Within my short film, I explore how love and technology meet. Can we really transmit love through technology? What does that look, sound, and feel like? Pink Noise as an art event focuses on video ritual and as someone who has participated in a lot of traditional ritual and ceremony, I wonder (and tested) if video and ritual can be integrated. Can they? Does the energy come through, or is it lost in the mediation between human presence and machine? I am still not sure. But I am intrigued and driven by these kinds of questions. I see technology as a tool, and all tools can be used to craft something beautiful and beneficiary, or destructive and uncomplimentary to life. When I look in one direction I see all the ways that technology can deregulate, distract, and divide us. While if I look in another direction, I can see all the ways it can illuminate, connect, and inspire a better world.
The choice is ours what we do with it. And I believe this is a powerful and important choice.
Lastly, while taking Dr. Daniel Foor's class I revisited my Italian / Irish Catholic roots in order to connect with my very religious Grandmothers who passed before I was born (I have not been a practicing Catholic in 27 years). Within my piece I wove an homage to Ave Maria and the Rosary through a reconceptualization of "the mother" being within us all as this unconditional love that is omnipresent beneath the blocks.
pink noise vi: fantasy embodiment
Co-presented by: Pink Noise, Holocene, Northwest Film Forum
Donations $5-$1000 All proceeds go directly to the artists.
Tickets available here:
You will receive a link to our interactive zoom room.
When you hear fantasy embodiment, what do you think? In some major ways, we’ve all gone through transmutations throughout the pandemic. We may have questioned, where did my body go? Where are all of the other bodies I used to be near? We may have hidden ourselves away, or put ourselves in painful, scary, yet, necessary situations. We may have longed for touch, more than our own touch. Our bodily interactions have mostly been mediated, through masks, screens, boundaries….even now… fantasy embodiment can be an escape from our bodies, from our realities. A time to fully embrace the absurd, come out of our cocoons, and show off our new transformations.
Tune in 7:00pm - 1am PST for performances, video art, and rituals from:
Avola + Nico Daunt
Chloe Alexandra Thompson + aesthetic.stalemate
Devin Jane Febbroriello
Edgar Fabián Frías
Hannah Piper Burns
Heidiheiderson + Helen
Hex Appeal / Crystal Quartez / Dolphin Midwives
Jessie Rose Vala
Liz Miller Kovacs
Vivian Hua 華婷婷 x Rana San
Poster by Mealz (@themelia)
Pink Noise //
Founded in 2017, pink noise is a semi-annual art happening that brings together femme & femme identified experimental electronic musicians, video artists, witches, and art freaks to manifest the wildest performances Portland can imagine. Learn more at https://www.sarahsarahturnerturner.com/pink-noise.
Northwest Film Forum incites public dialogue and creative action through collective cinematic experiences. A nonprofit film and arts center located in Seattle, Northwest Film Forum presents hundreds of films, festivals, community events, multidisciplinary performances, and public discussions each year. The Forum offers educational workshops and artist services for film and media makers at all stages of their development, including access to space, gear, fiscal sponsorship, and an edit lab. Learn more at nwfilmforum.org.
Holocene is a music + arts venue, nightclub and events space in the core of inner-SE Portland. Since the summer of 2003, Holocene has been hosting touring acts from folk to minimal techno, Portland’s own most exciting musicians, unforgettable dance parties, and all manner of arts and multimedia parties that blur the line between highbrow and down-and-dirty. Learn more at holocene.org